1. Keep a diary – record conversations you have regarding your children, decisions you and your ex come to, questions you have and any advice you have received. This will be of great help in remembering details if the care of your children comes into dispute later on.
2. Stay calm – when emotions run high, we can often make rash decisions which can have far-reaching consequences. Try to keep a clear head, it is in the best interests of you and your family to do so.
3. Understand and address the concerns of the other party – If your ex partner expresses concerns about your behaviour or lifestyle, take the time to think about those and address them. Flying off the handle will not help your situation so remain calm in the face of criticism and do your best to be understanding and show you are making changes.
4. Work towards a better relationship – if relations with your children’s mother are strained, do your best to work toward improving those. Try to separate your relationship as ex partners and your relationship as parents. Your children will benefit greatly if this can be achieved.
5. Meet your obligations – do what you can to ensure you maintain a consistent routine, particularly with the children, and try to pay all bills on time.
6. Maintain normality – as well as keeping up a stable routine, you should do your best to keep a sense of normality in the time your children spend with you. This means doing normal everyday activities and not continually treating them to gifts or trips to their favourite places.
7. Get Involved – Participate as much as you can in your children’s lives. This might include getting more involved with their school and/or any extra-curricular activities such as sport or music.
8. Make the most of contact – Even if you are not satisfied with the amount of contact you get, make the most of the time you do have with your children. Avoid any displays of resentment toward their mother and focus on enjoying your time together.
9. Look after yourself – It is in your children’s best interests for you to be healthy and happy. Eat well, communicate well and maintain a positive attitude.

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